Susan Jay

November 01, 1930 - March 16, 2024

Susan Jay

November 01, 1930 - March 16, 2024

Obituary

Susan Jay, neé Kraus, passed away with much of her family at her bedside in the morning on Saturday 16 March 2024. She lived through 93 amazing years from being a child with a nanny in the Czech city of Brno where she lived at the foot of a castle, to running through Europe fleeing Nazi persecution and possible death, eventually making her way with her parents from Hong Kong to Los Angeles as passengers on a freighter. Throughout those early years she was instilled with a love of music, art, and languages which served as guiding threads for the rest of her life. Already fluent in Czech, German, and Italian, she learned English at school in Hong Kong which imbued her with the British accent that earned her a job in the imports department at Bullocks Wilshire where she worked while she went to school to become an x-ray technician. Once she received her degree she worked in the x-ray department of Cedars Sinai Hospital. After a couple of years, one of the physicians asked her to join him at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York where he was to become head of the department and she became lead x-ray tech. Even into her last days she was able to surprise medical professionals with her knowledge of human physiology and pull out of the air names of bones and organs which let them know they need not dumb down their conversation for her. Living in New York with a job as a professional, Susan was able to let her hair down just a bit, date, and explore the music scene in New York City. She would, on occasion, share stories of handsome, cosmopolitan men who took her to venues including Carnegie Hall and The Metropolitan Opera House. Living in a rented room in the Bronx she heard music coming from the room of a fellow boarder, Strauss, Vivaldi, Beethoven, and much more. She and the medical student met and found they had a lot in common although this young man could hardly compete with the nights on the town offered by her usual suitors. However, there was a spark which quickly turned into a flame and she was soon married to Burton Jay, three and a half years her junior. While Susan knew she was Jewish she had been brought up in a non-practicing, largely secular family, her marriage to a practicing Jew combined with the loss of nearly her whole family in the holocaust kindled her interest in following traditions.

 

After 5 years, once Burton received his medical degree and became an intern at Santa Monica Hospital, their son, Michael, was born. Next was Tucson for 2 years living on Davis-Monthan Air Force Base as the wife of a military physician during the Cuban missile crisis and not long after moved to Danville, PA where Burton specialized in Dermatology and their twins, Debby and Danny were born. Just a few more years took the family back to the West Coast, Canoga Park, CA, where Burton worked as a Dermatologist for Kaiser Permanente and Susan managed their three young children. Burton was soon offered the opportunity to move to San Diego and work for Kaiser there, eventually becoming head of Dermatology for Kaiser Southern California. Finally able to put down roots, Susan was able to resume the pursuit of her interest in music through attendance at the San Diego Symphony, San Diego Opera, LA Philharmonic, and the La Jolla Chamber Music as all three of the children learned to play string instruments. This meant Susan was running children from lessons to ensemble practices and more. Once the children got old enough, however, Susan threw herself fully into her love of opera as she became an opera docent, getting school children excited about opera! Eventually, she became the lead San Diego Opera Docent where she spearheaded an incredibly successful program. Her enthusiasm about opera was always evident and she befriended many involved with different facets of opera. More than just a fan on the proverbial sidelines, she coached several in Czech diction in preparation for singing operas by Dvořák, Janáček, and Smetena. One such artist was Renée Fleming whom Susan helped with Janáček’s Cunning Little Vixen.

 

Her husband, Burton, was an avid boater and Susan was along for the ride supporting his rise through the ranks at Southwestern Yacht Club in San Diego. The pair made life long friends of others involved in the boating community and traveled up and down the west coast, mostly by car and plane, visiting other yacht clubs, making new friends. For both of them this was more about the community than actually sailing and Susan did a great job applying her leadership skills there as well.

 

In the mid-1980s Susan and Burton were lured to the Pacific Northwest where they looked for a vacation cabin in the mountains east of Bellingham. After a lengthy search they found one with a sign that read “Chateau Brno” which they took as an omen that they had found the right place. For several years, Susan and Burton spent time between their home in San Diego and their Northwest getaway where they would hunt for mushrooms (a loose mirror of her favorite Far Side cartoon of vegetarians returning from the hunt with a huge carrot slung between them), plant trees, and generally play house in their forested wonderland. As they got older, they looked for a place in Bellingham proper and purchased a townhouse where they lived for many years. Now living full time in Bellingham, Susan got involved with the Music Society and other music activities throughout the community. Sadly, Burton passed in December of 2015, which opened a new chapter of Susan’s life.

 

Without her lifelong partner after 60 years of marriage, Susan reinvented herself when she moved into The Willows independent living facility. There she found an incredibly supportive community where she found her footing and exercised skills she didn’t even know she had. Improv and playing Rummikub with friends were two of her favorite activities. Having never had an opportunity to live in a dormitory she also learned new skills of communal living from dining to being in close quarters, of sorts, with others around her on a daily basis. She developed so many new friendships and met people she might never had a chance to know. She gave periodic talks on a variety of operas, highlighting those she had known her whole life and shared insights gained from a life immersed in opera.

 

Her good friend Roger Pines, who many may know from his many appearances on the MET’s Saturday Broadcast “Opera Quiz”, shared:

“I admired Susan’s passion for music —  her lifelong devotion to it. She loved opera as much as I do, and to discuss any opera with her was always a joy for me.”

 

Susan and Karen Keltner, former Resident Conductor, San Diego Opera, who were incredibly close writes:

“Susan’s knowledge of of opera was extensive and her love for the art form was boundless. Her work with the Docents, her work as SDO’s Czech-diction coach, and Susan and Burt’s attendance at our San Diego Opera productions, many of which I conducted, (coupled with wonderful post-performance meetings backstage and beyond…) evolved into the friendship I extol above and which I cherish.”

 

Evelina de la Rosa, Soprano, also a very dear friend, shares:

“Susan was such a loyal friend… she never failed to ask me, “what’s coming up next for you”, and made sure to follow up afterwards to see how that musical work went. She was involved, and cared for those in her life!” and continues, “Someone meeting Susan for the first time might describe her as “refined and serious”, and she was both of these… but I knew her tremendous sense of humor and love of laughter! I was tickled pink to know that she took an Improv class in these past few years.”

 

 

Susan will be missed by many from all the facets of her life. As with many who reach her age, she mourned the loss of close friends recognizing that those with whom she shared history were leaving her in a changed world with fewer peers. Her body failing, she knew her time had come and we, her children, are relieved that she passed on her own terms in the quiet of her home. We appreciate what each of you gave to her in your friendship and invite you to share your memories of her here.

No Events & Services

No Charities & Donations

No Gallery Photos

No Videos

8 responses to Susan Jay

  1. It was truly an honor to help care for such an intelligent and interesting woman. I only wish I had met her much sooner. The laughs we shared as well as stories of our travels and adventures will be cherished. My heartfelt condolences go out to all who knew and loved this wonderful lady. ❤️

  2. Clyde Hiss says:

    Susan was and will remain one of my absolutely best friends. I will be thinking of you all at 2:30 on Tuesday and will be offering up my prayers though perhaps not in Hebrew.
    With fondest memories,
    Clyde

  3. I am saddened and overwhelmed with the news of Susan’s passing, even though I knew it was inevitable….as are all of our passings.

    There is no short way to say all I felt for Susan or all she meant to me, but here goes: Susan Jay was a heart-anchored and longtime friend for and to me, for many, many years; a person, a woman, and an individual whom I respected, admired, and loved deeply. Any anticipation of our spending time together, of our meeting for a meal or the prospect of attending a performance together, or even a planned or spontaneously-executed telephone call together was an occasion of JOY.

    Professionally, Susan and I began working together, often and happily, with an amazing group of individuals who comprised the Docents of San Diego Opera, which Susan headed. Susan’s knowledge of of opera was extensive and her love for the art form was boundless. Her work with the Docents, her work as SDO’s Czech-diction coach, and Susan and Burt’s attendance at our San Diego Opera productions, many of which I conducted, (coupled with wonderful post-performance meetings backstage and beyond…) evolved into the friendship I extol above and which I cherish.

    The appreciation I hold for Susan’s unwavering support of me as a musician is immeasurable, although I do not know if she truly knew how much that support meant, in every way, to me. My love for and appreciation of our friendship will live in my heart always, right next to the love I shall always carry for her.

    Karen Keltner, former Resident Conductor, San Diego Opera

  4. Our dear Susan was a woman of “old world” elegance, who lived vibrantly in our contemporary times. We met through her, and her dear husband, Burt’s, love of opera, and while they always supported traditional productions, their real interest was in the contemporary… the current. If an opera intrigued them, they would often see multiple performances of the same production – such as Peter Maxwell Davies’ The Lighthouse, conducted by Mo. Karen Keltner for San Diego Opera.
    Susan was such a loyal friend… she never failed to ask me, “what’s coming up next for you”, and made sure to follow up afterwards to see how that musical work went. She was involved, and cared for those in her life!
    She and her husband Burt were so very generous with their time and resources, and I can’t even count the MANY lunches at DZAkins (featuring delicious matzo ball soup, and the famous “half-sour” pickles!), late-night noshes at City Deli after performances to celebrate and give our “reviews” of the evening, and wonderful dinners at the University Club and Café Eleven, where we often closed down the room. Our conversations were lively, and filled with laughter… such cherished memories!
    Susan and Burt made sure that we could attend their 50th anniversary celebration in Bellingham, and hosted us in their home for several days. Susan was such a gracious hostess, and was especially radiant at the celebration. I’ll always envision the two of them dancing the night away, and personally greeting each guest who attended.
    Someone meeting Susan for the first time might describe her as “refined and serious”, and she was both of these… but I knew her tremendous sense of humor and love of laughter! I was tickled pink to know that she took an Improv class in these past few years.
    Her 90th (Zoom) birthday party was a real highlight, and so many of us clamored to pay tribute to, and offer our love for, this remarkable lady!
    Most of all, Susan was absolutely devoted to her Burt, and to her family. She always spoke with great pride of the accomplishments of Debby, Michael, & Danny, and all her grandkids. Her roles in life were many… to me she’ll always be a shining example of what a true friend is… and I’ll always remember her with a smile.
    Evelina de la Rosa

  5. Oh my Precious Cargo Susan, you will be missed beyond anything I’ve experienced. You taught me so much. Not only about love, grace, and acceptance, but of your way of life and your Jewish traditions. I’ll honor them for you and myself.

    We spent many hours in the night unable to sleep, sitting on the side of your bed talking. I cherish your words of advice and only hope you found comfort in my advice. I love you so much.

    As your caregiver, I pray each day I brought you comfort with love and compassion. I’ll never forget the day you became my caregiver after an allergic reaction. You cared for me as if I was your own child, you reminded me so much my own mother.. thank you for that ❤️

    Towards the end, you asked me to tell you about my mother and my family. I was so happy I got to share what amazing mother I had, and tell stories of her love and devotion to me and her grandchildren.

    You introduced me to your family such amazing family. In the end, I witnessed the United family who cared for you and each other. And the value of touch.. I love you so much sweet lady. This is not goodbye, but I will catch you on the flipside until then rest easy my precious cargo.. ai will carry a piece of your heart the rest of my days. I love you.

Leave A Condolence