After cremation services in Everson, WA, you may not have grieved intensely over the loss of your loved one, while everyone else in your family seemed to be consumed with grief. People grieve differently, so while your reaction may have felt uncomfortable at the time, you did not read too much into it.
However, fast forward to now and you find yourself suddenly awash in grief over the death of your loved one. What you are experiencing is delayed grief.
Delayed grief is often described as a catastrophic sadness that shows up out of nowhere. It can make its appearance months or years after the funeral for your loved one.
But why does delayed grief occur? There are a few reasons.
One reason is because the shock of the death of your loved one may cause you to push aside your feelings of sadness, without realizing that is what you are doing, so that you can absorb the shock and come to terms with your loss.
Another reason may be that you put your grief on a shelf because you need to deal with practical matters immediately after the death of your loved one. Again, this is not a conscious decision, but it happens.
How then does this delayed grief come to the forefront later? Usually, it is triggered by another loss.
For example, your spouse may have died unexpectedly several years ago. However, you needed to make sure your children had a strong, stable parent to get them through their own grief and keep everything together, so you subconsciously put your grief on hold to take care of your children.
Now, your children are older and, perhaps, have left home for college or careers. You are an empty nester, but you are also helping out your parents, who are aging and have serious health issues.
But, one of your parents dies. This loss could be the trigger to bring the grief for the loss of your spouse back to the surface, and now you feel as though you are an emotional basket case. You are not. Grief has to be dealt with, and you will deal with it, but it will be rough for a while.
Here are some of the symptoms you may experience initially when you delay grief. You may be inexplicably irritable and anxious. You may suffer from frequent headaches or body aches. You may also experience numbness and apathy about life in general.
Once delayed grief comes to the surface, you may find yourself feeling intense sadness, anger, guilt, and pain all mixed up together. You will likely find yourself crying a lot and feeling foggy about everything else.
You may also find that your daily patterns are completely disrupted. You may experience sleep disturbances, such as sleeping a lot, sleeping too little, or not sleeping at all. You may also have changes in your eating habits. You may be hunger all the time or you may have little or no interest in eating at all.
Whatever your normal routine is may suddenly feel like a mountain that is impossible to climb. You may find that hours go by and you’ve accomplished nothing and that your to-do list never seems to get finished.
These are all normal reactions associated with loss. You are just experiencing them long after the first loss’s grief.
So, let yourself grief, but make sure you take care of yourself while you do. Endeavor to eat well, exercise, and get sleep. Get a support team (personal or professional) to talk with about your feelings.
Take time to think about what you are experiencing and why. A good way to do this is to incorporate a walk outside into your daily routine where you can focus on your grief.
For additional information about grief resources and cremation services in the area of Everson, WA, our compassionate and experienced team at Moles Farewell Tributes & Crematory – Greenacres Memorial Park is here to help.